smart-sane's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Starting From the Very Beginning Watching: Disc 6 of Season 2 of Alias. Wishing I had Discs 1-5. Action!Will! So in the aim of reclaiming the mystery, I'm gonna have to lose the attitude. Not my sparkling wit, never fear, that shall never leave us. But the part of me that is mean for no reason and usually out of the blue to the ones I love the most. That has got to go. And this chip on my shoulder can take a hike too; it's getting heavy and if I work out my right shoulder too much, I'm going to start walking lopsided. I can't tell you how it originates. It just kinda sneaks up on me and bam! I'm not in a good mood. Like Wednesday, the Alias fans that braved the snow came over and we watched and I should've been squealing with glee, but for some reason I kept finding reasons to snap at the boys. I didn't wake up to the fact of my complete jerkness til about Friday, and well, a jerk's apologizing is never done. And Thursday when my girl was at the game having quality bonding time with her sister, and that was totally awesome of her to do that, what do I do? Cheer that the team will win and they'd have reason to celebrate? Or send a snarky text message when I find out the team is getting blown out? Hmm, take a stab at it. Then Friday, well I didn't have an attitude Friday. I went out in service with Niko, and then hung with him and Jordan in the evening. Two of my absolute favorites wrapped up in one day? We're talking "You've met the rest, now meet the best" Niko and "If I wasn't from Chicago You'd Swear I was an Angel" Jordan. I may be mean but I'm still human. It's occurred to me for awhile that I do this, but lately it's been out of control. It's like Trogdor the Burninator. Someone might get hurt if I don't wrangle it. So how do you lose the attitude when it is so ingrained? There are practical things like, count to ten if I feel like my blood is starting to boil. Or just hold my hands over my mouth til I pass out instead of saying something snarky I know I don't mean. But eventually I'm going to have to get down to the bottom of it all. All I want you to do is call me on it. If I'm snippy at you for no good reason (this can include insisting that you're wrong and I'm right; up to screaming "I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!" with moxie) give me a good boot. I need to recognize the damage I'm doing. Oh, but I just spelled that wreckonize. And ain't that the truth? The weather is lifting or the mean reds are calming to pink. I can tell 'cause my ribs aren't aching nearly as much. Speaking of Niko (wasn't I? I'm sure I was. Well at least "Thinking of Niko") I've got other short term goals, one of which is to kickbutt in service this week. I'm going to stop here because I can see the "Tiffany looooves Niko" rumours spreading cross the Internet now. Quoting: The OC Recap. 8:49 p.m. - 01-10-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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