smart-sane's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NonDisclosure Watching: The Amazing Race. More about THAT below. The Amazing Race. Sigh, the show is over. It doesn't even really give you time to recover because it starts again in three weeks! Unfortunately, as is the case with reality shows, I get emotionally involved in some of the people. This time around it was Aaron and Hayden. Well it was mostly Aaron, because a)he is hot-t and b)he is from Michigan and c)he was a remarkable man in the face of trails and a freakout for a girlfriend. Simply put she was the opposite of him: irrational, excitable, stressed, and spazztic. Yet he loved her unconditonally. So much so after they pretty much quit the race (she couldn't unlock the lock!! Yes, it was your fault Hayden!) he still, with tears in his eyes, declared his love for her and proposed to her on TV. Absolutely broke my heart. It was sweet and all, but that should've been me! Or at least, you know in theory. I don't think you can define "putting up with me" any better than that. So now I'll add "being on the Amazing Race" of things to do in a committed relationship. Preferrably with Aaron once he realizes the error of his ways, but you know, whatever. As we know, I've gotten myself into heaps of trouble by talking about those we do not speak of on an occasional basis. I know now what I didn't know then: that didn't really help the situation. (See here, here and here, for example.) So from now on I've made sort of a mental pact to not talk in particulars, when it comes to others who don't know they are being mentioned, or who wouldn't want it. This pact has made it kind of hard to tell you exactly what's going on with me, so now I'm withholding on a journal that I promised to be 100% open and honest with. So for the moment I'm stuck. Unless I can talk in the vaguest of terms, I've obligated myself to not talk about it. So let's see if I can try it. I felt like a little school girl on the phone last night. I was giggling, and stumbling over words or trying to say the right words but nothing was coming out. I was walking the line of trying to be friendly and trying to hide my overwhelming adoration of this guy. He's a good guy, and the fact that I have a crush on a good guy is scary. I'm just so tired of being sad; I want to be happy. And when I got off the phone last night I was happy. I felt like an idiot, but a happy idiot. Don't go trying to pick my brain and figure it out when you see me around. I'll tell you who it is when I'm good and ready. Ahem, Laurie! Quoting: Aaron on TAR6. 10:40 a.m. - 02-09-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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